Sound the Bugle
by Lassoing the Moon
Summary: Life and Death is instrumental, coded into everyday life like the strings on a violin, sometimes even the most beautiful aspects of it can hurt like hell. / In the privacy of Erwin's room, Levi grieves. One Shot!


Wind whistled between every nook and cranny of the castle, howling like a wounded animal, shadows dance across the brick walls, and the flickering of the candles placed in the room earlier are slowly dying, leaving the room in complete darkness. Kneeling in front of the bed, is Levi, his hands folded neatly in front of him, his hair shielding his eyes as he fights the tears he knows is coming. His heart hammers in his chest, his lungs fight for the shallow breathes he's trying to hold onto as some sort of security. Levi knows the second he allows himself to break, he won't be able to stop.

It's been days, weeks, since his squad died. People stare at him like he's a heartless monster, incapable of feeling anything for the friends he's lost. Levi is so good at pretending he begins to think that he doesn't have a heart, that he actually doesn't care what happened to them, but he does, he knows he does. He has to, otherwise what was the point of it?

He doesn't hear the door squeak open until Erwin has him wrapped in the embrace of his arms. "Don't." He doesn't deserve to be held, not by him, not like this. Erwin, strong and supportive, holds him, whispering kind words of love into his hair. Levi hates this, hates how safe this man makes him feel. Sitting in in the commanders arms almost feels wrong, especially since he has no damn right be here. Not after what happened.

"Stop that," Erwin mummers, seeming to read his thoughts. "You have every right be alive, Levi, you did what you could to protect Eren just like your squad." His slim fingers slid through his hair, causing his breathing to stop. "They did what they were trained to do."

Did they? Levi has to wonder. Not once were they trained, prepared, to fight an enemy that was just, if not more, intelligent than them. He knows he should have filled them, trusted them enough to allow them into the dangerous operation they were about to give their lives for but he hadn'tbeen able to do. Not just because of Erwin's orders but because somewhere deep down he though the could protect them.

Instead he had failed them.

Levi drops his head into the crook of Erwin's arm, clenching his eyes shut as the tears start. They come slow, like the rain, and then shake his body like a hurricane. His hands cling to whatever part of Erwin he can reach as he makes ugly sounds. Petra dances across his eyelids, her beautiful smile playing back at him like a film strip, she had been his friend, a good one, and now she was gone. Along with the other members of his squads, the very people he had promised to protect.

How had he failed so miserably?

"You did what you could, Levi." Erwin was running his fingers through his hair, drawing him close. Levi feels like he drowning, he needs to get away. Pushing himself out of his lovers arms, he shook his head, covering his mouth as a broken sob shook him away. "Levi.." For the first time, Erwin sounds broken. He's done this, Levi has single handily broken one of humanities strongest fighters.

His knees buckle under his him, sending him crashing to the floor. "Don't.." He begs. He doesn't deserve his kindness or love. "Erwin please.." More than anything Levi just wants to be left alone. He can't handle the look of sympathy the man is giving him or the comfort of his arms. Wrapping himself up, the captain lowers his head, fighting to stay sane.

"I am not going to let you fight this alone." Erwin mutters as he kneels down in front of him. "We've been through hell and back in the last five years Levi; we've made love when we thought our last moments were upon us, we've thrown hateful words at one another, we've lost close friends and comrades. I will be damned if I leave you to fight this alone." Erwin's voice is strong and steady, giving Levi something to latch onto.

Erwin reaches for him and for the first time since meeting the man, Levi notices his hand is shaking. "Please, Elie." His words are a command and for a moment he finds himself wanting to give in, wanting to forgive him. "Stop this, Levi." The second time his words aren't as kind, almost like an owner showing dominance over it's pet.

Unexpected anger slips through him so violently his body shakes. Slapping his hand away, Levi glares at him. He can't see past the anger in his eyes, can't focus on anything else than wanting to beat the shit out of Erwin. "Fuck off." He snaps, righting hooking the commander in the jaw.

If Erwin was shocked by his sudden outburst of violence he doesn't show it. He's pressing his hand against his jaw bone, staring at him with pale eyes,"That was quite weak, Levi," Punching Erwin wasn't his first act of anger upon him, he more than once since meeting the man inflicted some sort of physical or mental pain against him. "I'm disappointed."

Levi wants to pass off the power of his punch to how weak he still is but he knows that this has nothing do with the injury. He can't hurt Erwin, not completely anyway.

Slipping forward, much like a cat waiting to pounce in its prey, Levin lunges for Erwin. He pins the man to the floor, glaring down at him. "This is all your demand fault!" He snaps, his hands shaking with anger. "I told you that it wouldn't work and you didn't listen to me! You never listen to me..." His hands clench at the commanders shirt, his nails digging into his skin. Levi isn't sure if he's more upset over his squad or the fact that Erwin had come so close to losing his life. And for what? They hadn't even gotten what they set out for, instead they had wagons of bodies and hordes of injured soldiers.

"I did what I had to for the sake of humanity." Erwin answers, staring up at him. "You use to understand that." He still does, Levi would give his life up to protect the last fragments of humanity, he'll probably die protecting the very people who don't give two shits about what happens to him.

"This is different." He answers, meaning for his tone to be hard but it's only broken. Levi can't bring himself to say what's really shaken him, he can't seem even more weak than he already is to Erwin.

Thankfully the commander seems to know where his train of thought has gone. "I'm alive, Levi." He whispers, slipping his fingers through his hair to tug him closer to him, his free hand hooking around his waist. "We're both alive."

Their kiss is no where near comforting; it's hard and demanding. It's a silent reminder that they are both in fact actually alive and well. Erwin sucks on his bottom lip and Levi finds himself melting in his embrace, allowing every bit of anger to leave him as their kiss gets more heated.

As much as Levi wants this, he understand when Erwin pulls away. The commander presses his forehead to his, looking down at him with a small smile, reserved only for Levi. "I love you." He places a small kiss on the end of his nose.

"I love you too, Erwin."

Levi curls into Erwin's arms as the commander picks him up. He walks them both to their bed, tucking them under the warmth of the blankets. "I have never given up on you, Elie, and I am not about to start now." Despite his feelings, despite his anger for the man, Levi allows himself to be tucked into Erwin's chest.

"How's your jaw?" He asks, looking up from where he's tucked under Erwin's chin. Levi can already see the slight brushing starting to form and he knows the commander is more than likely to pass it off as a training accident.

"I wasn't lying when I said it was weak." Erwin answers as he trails his hands down Levi's back, "It still hurt like a bitch though. " He was known after all for his small size but powerful strength.

Reaching up, Levi presses a gentle kiss to his jaw. "Sorry, I'll make sure to punch you a bit harder next time." He says.

Erwin pushes him back into the mattress, hovering over him with a sinister gleam in his eyes. "I do believe you need to be punished." He states. "And you have to much clothing on for that to happen."

Levi stays silent as his clothing is removed; Erwin takes his time unbutton his shirt, kissing every patch of bare skin he can reach, his cock pressing against his own through their trousers. His eyes clench shut as Erwin takes his nipple in his mouth, sucking slowly, teasing him. "You're lucky I'm just now undressing you, Elie." The commanders voice his thick with lust, sending a shiver down Levi's spine.

Popping up onto his elbows, Levi stars down at his lover as he unbuttons his trousers, taking his time sliding the tight fabric down his legs. "Erwin." He warns, not in the mood for teasing. Pausing his actions, Erwin leans up to press their lips together, effectively silencing him.

Levi kisses back deeply, making a noise in the back of his throat as Erwin pins his arms above his head. His hands slip down his body, gripping his cock, slowly fingering him. "I'm not quite sure how I should do this." Erwin admits, smirking up at him. "Perhaps I should make you beg." Levi hates when he teases him, but he loves the touches, craves the kisses. "I don't think you deserve to be pleasured." Erwin pumps his hand slowly down his cock, making sure to grab all of him.

"Erwin." Levi snaps. His in no mood for the blonde to be playing games with him. Holding his hands together, the commander slowly slides down his body, stopping only to suck on the sensitive areas of his skin. Levi squirms under Erwin, needing to have some sort of control back but he has him so well pinned, he can't even jerk his hips up when his cock was taken in his mouth. "God, Erwin!" He moans, closing his eyes.

As quickly as the pleasure has come, it's gone. Erwin has him flipped over and pinned down onto the bed, his fingers laced in his hair. "Tell me what you want, Levi." The kisses left on his spine leave him breathless,making it impossible to breathe correctly, let alone answer the question. Taking his cock in his hand, Erwin pushes into him, causing the younger man to growl his name.

This was something he could never get use to, the closeness, the pure connection he shared with Erwin when they made love. Their hands connect on the bed as Ewrin thrusts against him, pumping his cock slowly and with care. "We're both alive." He reminds him again, thrusting so deeply into him Levi loses himself to the pleasure and allows it to topple him over. His lover is slow to join him and by the time they're both finished, both are exhausted.

Erwin tucks him into his chest as they settle back down in the bed together, his finger lifting his chin. "I love you, Elie, no matter what happens, I always will." He has ways been the segmental one, arguing about their relationship and the very foundation of it, Levi's generally just content to be in his arms. "Not even the damn Titans will keep me from you."

Levi can't help but think how stupid that statement sounds. Neither of them can guarantee the other that they won't die in the next battle. Perhaps that was the point, either they would both live to see each other through another day, or they would die, with unfilled promises and declaration of love on their lips.

The very thought of living in a world without Erwin, terrifies him. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Levi presses his lips to Erwin's collarbone, "I love you too." He whispers. "Always."

Levi doesn't sleep a wink that night, he stays awake watching over Erwin, wondering what life could be without him. By the time they make it to the training grounds the next morning, he has his answer; even though he will always have Erwin with him, he'll one day have to lose him. Whether to the Titans or natural causes, It's just something he'll have to cope with when the time comes.


End file.
